How it all began

The presidential election of 2008 which culminated in the election of Barack Hussein Obama was a history making event that makes us all witnesses to something truly earth shattering. It was so intense in its extreme polarity that every person on the face of the earth was emotionally involved in one way or another.

Rarely did anyone stand in the middle pondering "which way did they go, boss?"

With such extremely polarized emotions pulling every person, every man, woman and child, every animal, every plant, every dna molecule, every atom, every subatomic partical and every quark that the once harmoniously vibrating subquantum strings were suddenly and violently skewn out of harmony which caused the very fabric of the universe to tear open and enormous fissure in the time-space continuum. This caused our entire world, yea even our entire universe, to be sucked through the fissure by an infinite intellectual vacuum and cast into a bizarre alternate universe where down is up, right is wrong, good is bad and bad is better.

In this bizarre alternate universe, virtues are considered vices and vices are virtures. Religion is ridiculed, chastitiy is chastened, achievement is archaic, ambition is ambivalent. If you want to succeed you have to fail but if you have already succeeded they force you to fail. A billion was too much but a trillion is not enough.

Common sense is an oxymoron while nickels and cents are the only change you can count on. With each passing day more and more news stories, driven by a goo-goo eyed, Obamaeuphoric media, show the abject hysterically moronic contrast between what is and what should be. Inspired by these painfully comical alternate realities, the Bizarre Alternate Universe updates were started on Twitter and passed onto Facebook for all like and unlike minded people to ponder, postulate and pick-apart. At the behest and request of a few faithful witnesses of the updates, here are all the tweets. See if you can remember the context and stories of the days that inspired them. The tweets are listed from most recent back and include tweets that are not only from the Bizarre Alternate Universe updates, but also from other

Rick_Bernico it will soon be unAmerican to buy American after UAW controls US auto industry. time to buy Toyota.about 1 hour ago from mobile web Bizarre alt. universe update: US Prez tries to steal from retirement funds to give to UAW but Chrysler investors blow whistle.about 1 hour ago from mobile web #hhrs since UAW will own GM & Chrysler, will they be able to strike against themselves?about 9 hours ago from mobile web Wake up call: Dems have NEVER fixed any problems. They only know how to make more problems, create crisis & blame GOP!about 9 hours ago from mobile web WHO says only 7 deaths worldwide from virus formerly named swine flu. Who flung WHO at whom?about 9 hours ago from mobile web How freakin' appropriate: Fox show "Lie to Me" ran parallel to Obama press conference!about 10 hours ago from mobile web Bizarre alt. universe update: will UAW bankrupt Fiat so Obama can nationalize Italy?about 11 hours ago from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Since UAW will soon own GM & Chrysler, will UAW be able to go on strike against itself?about 11 hours ago from mobile web Socialism update: UAW to own Chrysler and GM. Perroneism on the rise. 0bama thumbs nose at RW. stucks out tongue "Try & stop me, suckers!"about 11 hours ago from mobile web Scientists see the farthest object at 13 Billion light years away. They did NOT see God nor the restaurant at the end of the universe!about 12 hours ago from mobile web I'm late, I'm late for a very important ... crisis. Heck, I don't think I'll participate. Sorry Big O!about 13 hours ago from web Don't fear the plague. Fear the plaque! The one with the O seal on it!about 13 hours ago from web The needless slaughter of pigs has already started. Obama is thinking of renaming it to the Right Wing flu virus! http://tinyurl.com/c7ztfmabout 13 hours ago from web work crisis work crisis work crisis work crisis work crisis ... work would be great w/o government intrusion causing these crisisesesesesesabout 14 hours ago from web Is the swine flu considered not Kosher? Will terrorists still get 72 virgins if they spread & die from the swine flu?about 14 hours ago from web Bizarre alt. universe update: No truth to the rumor that P.Obama will name Bush the new Iraq czar to regain order in Bagdad.about 15 hours ago from web Bizarre alt. universe update: Specter fits in perfect w/ do-as-I-blame-not-as-I do crowd!about 15 hours ago from web Bizarre alternate universe update: w/ porkulus bill, porky budgets, swine flu - isn't it ironic our Muslim-friendly Prez is defined by pork?6:26 PM Apr 29th from mobile web deleted @BOTeleprompter from barrysblackberry: I have some kool aid that will be perfect for you!3:07 PM Apr 29th from mobile web deleted @KGMB9 and I have swampland in Arizona I can sell you, too!3:00 PM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Keep tanking the economy bcz it doesn't affect the poor or the politicians anyway.10:56 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: RWExtremists now cling to their guns, religion, tea bags & constitution. objective to get rid of all four10:43 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Economy down 6.1% last quarter. seems t/only stimulus out of Washington was caused by little blue pills!8:36 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Proof t/ far left sucks? t/ intellectual vacuum on t/ far left sucked lefty specter into it black hole.7:53 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Proof that the far left sucks? The intellectual vacuum on the far left sucked lefty specter into its blac7:51 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: More car bombings in Bagdad. Didn't anyone tell Al Qaida that Obama is president yet?5:40 AM Apr 29th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: KSM cut off Dan Pearl's head wasn't torture but when we splashed water in KSM's face 183 times it was?6:20 PM Apr 28th from mobile web deleted barrysblackberry: @michellemybelle we're gonna make only one color car to offer. u sure u really want it called pinky pink?12:36 PM Apr 28th from mobile web John Kerry was right when he said there are two Americas. It's just that one is represented and the other is not. The other is now the enemy12:28 PM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Campaign contributions non-refundable just bcz of the politician's lack of character and integrity!12:21 PM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Arlen Specter said he switched bcz he will not let his political future be determined by voters! ... huh?11:56 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: DHS alert: was swine flu concocted by rightwing extremists to stop immigration by patriotic mexicans?11:21 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis ... but now is not the time to be alarmed!11:06 AM Apr 28th from mobile web deleted Bizarre alternate universe update: Wh/Hse didn't know Wh/Hse planned event so Wh/Hse will investigate Wh/Hse to find blame in Wh/Hse!10:34 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: GM & Chrysler customers will be req'd to register Dem & vote for unionization to buy the only car availab9:45 AM Apr 28th from mobile web barrysblakberry: @amaspectre got d word arlly baby. as soon as its final we'll wire dough to ur offshore acct. is d maverick on-board too?9:09 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Arlen Specter to change sides. good riddence. this actually makes the universe more normal!9:04 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Porky Pan is a malicious mental health pandemic disorder that affects all politicians (especially Dems) entering ground zero - Washington DC8:30 AM Apr 28th from mobile web Bizarre Alternate Universe update: P.Obama keeps promise not to nationalize auto industry. He nationalizes ONLY half and gives rest to UAW.7:28 AM Apr 28th from web Bizarre Alternate Universe update: Janine Garofalo petitions TRO on Jack Bauer.7:25 AM Apr 28th from web Bizarre Alternate Universe update: Washington DC - Human rights rescinded from humans and given to animals. PETA appoints Animal Rights Czar5:57 AM Apr 28th from web deleted Bizarre alternate universe update: Porkulus Pandemic hits US. Epicenter: Wash. DC. Dems, unions & minorities immune due to Barrak Vaccine.6:06 PM Apr 27th from mobile web barrysblakberry: @ georgyboy almost got d GM deal in d books! think I can still get d blinged out barrack limo designed now?2:46 PM Apr 27th from mobile web Obama's Blackberry: @hugodaddy looks like the bk promo went well. congrats on being #2 on amazon. what's my cut?2:34 PM Apr 27th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: The terrorists don't have to make 2nd 911-like attack to collapse the economy. They have Obama to do it!12:02 PM Apr 27th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Who is the man behind the curtain?10:24 AM Apr 27th from mobile web How many ppl are PO'd that Obama is forcing GM to shut down plants, kill Pontiac and split GM ownership btwn UAW & shareholders (gvt)?9:42 AM Apr 27th from mobile web Insted of getting rid of Pontiac, GM should get rid of the true toxic asset, UAW!8:12 AM Apr 27th from mobile web deleted deleted After a very busy weekend, it's back to the Bizarre Alternate Universe where down is up, right is wrong, good is bad and bad is better.5:02 AM Apr 27th from web deleted deleted Once the Abu Grabme photos are released & World Court prosecutes Bush & his administration, should Obama turn Bush over to their custody?9:19 AM Apr 25th from web Is this clown really clueless; is he truly sinister; or is he just wrapped in an alternate reality?6:29 PM Apr 24th from web What will be the last straw?4:32 PM Apr 24th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Chairman Maobama's henchman prevented REAL Global Warming expert to testify alongside Al Gore.3:40 PM Apr 24th from mobile web deleted deleted There is a peace that can only be achieved in the other side of war and if that battle must be fought then I shall fight it!2:43 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web deleted deleted deleted Congressional members KNEW about the waterboarding in 2002 before it took place and even encouraged the practice http://tinyurl.com/exqys6:04 AM Apr 23rd from web for Earth Day, let's each cut down & burn 1 tree & get together & make a bonfire in t/ shape of a smiley face that they can see from space.8:31 AM Apr 22nd from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Apparently believing marriage is btwn a man & a woman can win a presidency but not a beauty pageant.6:25 AM Apr 22nd from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: It's ok release t/names of & send ACORN thugs to intimidate AIG ppl but not wtrbrd terrorists?6:04 AM Apr 22nd from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Would YOU want to see your brother, friend, or fellow church member water boarded?5:58 AM Apr 22nd from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: According to Obama water boarding is immoral but killing unborn babies is not.8:45 PM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Next on witch hunt list: Viet Nam vets reclassified as war criminals then prosecuted. Watch out McCain!4:00 PM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Gibbs does't think t/president has been on MoveOn.org for t/last 24 hrs (where he gets his orders from?)3:14 PM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Change laws to make past techniques illegal then prosecute those who broke the new laws years ago.10:21 AM Apr 21st from mobile web Last election ripped tear in time-space continuum & cast us into a bizarre alternate universe where up is down good is bad & bad is better!10:07 AM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Redefine ALL interrogation techniques as torture; release torture memos; prosecute perpetrators!9:57 AM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Anti-Americanism is growing around the world and the US President is the leader.9:18 AM Apr 21st from mobile web deleted Bizarre alternate universe update: What do you mean we're overdrawn? We still have checks left plus we can print more money.8:18 AM Apr 21st from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: if you want to see what the country will look like under total Dem control, look at California & Michigan7:40 AM Apr 21st from mobile web How many people actually believe that if all of America does not wake up that we will lose our national sovereignty to trans-nationalists?8:31 PM Apr 20th from web It's pretty bad when our goal is to get on as many watch lists as possible!8:13 PM Apr 20th from web deleted deleted deleted @chicagobulls thanks for the running commentary. I'm in hawaii & isolated from the world.2:55 PM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: World Apology Tour next stop Arctic Circle to apologize to the polar bears for causing global warming.12:49 PM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: US pres agrees w/and values t/opinions of evil fascist dictators over the opinions of 1/2 his own people12:30 PM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: US pres agrees w/and values t/opinions of murdering fascist dictators over the opinions of half his own12:28 PM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Happy Anniversary to Senate majority leader Harry Reid who declared on this date the Iraq War was lost.11:07 AM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: goal of World Apology Tour to discredit myth of American exceptionalism & put US in proper place as worst9:51 AM Apr 20th from mobile web ... *favorably comparing ...9:21 AM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: AP compliments Obama by forably comparing him to ex-Soviet communist dictator M. Gorbechov.9:19 AM Apr 20th from mobile web Have you hugged your dictator today?7:41 AM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: Iranian president says US & Israel have destabilized the world & US president apologizes to the world.6:35 AM Apr 20th from mobile web Bizarre alternate universe update: US Population >18 y/o = 225.7M; total voters for Obama = 65.2M; that's 71.1% who did NOT vote for Obama!5:48 PM Apr 18th from web Bizarre alternate universe update: Supererogation is alive and well in the Cap & Trade initiatives.1:22 PM Apr 18th from web Bizarre alternate universe update: US President apologizes to all US enemies for being the only true evil country in the world.12:18 PM Apr 18th from web Obama extends hands to Chavez, Ortega at summit - http://tinyurl.com/c4me9g12:17 PM Apr 18th from ShareThis.com t/last election ripped open t/time-space continuum and threw us all into an upside-down topsey-turvey bizarre alternate universe!7:15 AM Apr 17th from mobile web deleted deleted who said Obama is a uniter? Oh ... HE DID! Everything he is doing seems to be polarizing the country more and more. Some uniter he is!6:01 AM Apr 17th from web - P.Obama has been fighting the establishment so long, now that he IS the establishment the only people he can fight now are on the Right!5:23 AM Apr 17th from web Obama's greatest war: the Bush administration and rightwing extremists. The only "official" terrorists aren't Muslim, they're US RW extremis3:53 PM Apr 16th from mobile web Obama's new Allies: Cuba, Venezuela, Hamas, Iran, etc; New Enemies: Rightwing Conservatives3:36 PM Apr 16th from mobile web Judging by the response & misinformation by the in-the-tank-Obamorgasmic national media, it is definitely "US vs Dem"!12:34 PM Apr 16th from mobile web deleted @tqnews I challenge anyone to show how Obama represents anyone except those who want to destroy US capitalism as we know it & not the middle9:07 PM Apr 15th from web in reply to tqnews @tqnews good question. I was merely showing that Obama, who represents the far radical left has classified any opposition as extreme right9:05 PM Apr 15th from web in reply to tqnews deleted Quote: the only true greed in the country now are the power hungry politicians who are stealing money from the only true producers!10:22 AM Apr 15th from mobile web #hhrs #tcot How can Obama say that the people who pay the bills voted them in when most of the people who voted for him DON'T pay taxes?!10:06 AM Apr 15th from mobile web How can Obama say that the people who pay the bills voted them in when most of the people who voted for him DON'T pay taxes?!10:01 AM Apr 15th from mobile web The foundation of the United States is the Constitution as it was originally written not the remade vision of a radical leftist ideologue.9:45 AM Apr 15th from mobile web deleted Is it any coincidence tht during t/largest expansion of an oppressive govt, Obama keeps appointing "czars" to all of his departments?6:41 AM Apr 15th from mobile web If Fox News represents the right wing personages, then MSNBC must represent the left wing liberal radicals.5:14 AM Apr 15th from web in order for a person to lead in a moral interest, that person must first have the moral values within.4:43 PM Apr 14th from mobile web if rightwing extremists are a threat to the country then are leftwing extremists a threat as well?2:25 PM Apr 14th from mobile web anyone opposed to expanding federal power in favor of state or individual rights are considered rightwing extremists by Obama9:25 AM Apr 14th from mobile web deleted considering how elections are confiscated in dem controlled states Coleman should have conceeded to Frankin when Coleman was up by 850!6:49 AM Apr 14th from mobile web deleted Homeland Security's begun to classify opposition to their policies as rightwing extremists & enemies of the state http://tinyurl.com/d2bzur4:55 AM Apr 14th from web deleted deleted If Bush had given the order to shoot the pirates, how long til Dems would have accused him of using excessive force & not conferring w/UN?11:04 AM Apr 13th from mobile web deleted deleted deleted deleted Rush now calls the Samali Pirates "Samali Merchant Marine Organizers" bcz they do the same thing as ACORN community organizers.9:10 AM Apr 10th from mobile web We will have to buy back our future from China someday. Hope they don't overcharge us.8:45 AM Apr 10th from web Which is the faster way to turn around the economy: 1) tax and let the govt spend or 2) lower taxes and let everyone spend?8:21 AM Apr 10th from web P.Obama is only doing what he has always said he would do and is only following his extreme political ideology. So far he IS succeeding!8:16 AM Apr 10th from web deleted Join the movement against outrageous spending & taxation and attend the Hawaii Tea Party scheduled for tax day April 15 at State Capital.11:52 AM Apr 9th from mobile web Gutting the US military is one of the goals of the anti-American far left politicians. Here is just the beginning http://tinyurl.com/25peqm5:49 AM Apr 9th from web If anyone still doubts that President Obama does not have the United States' best interest in mind, read this: http://tinyurl.com/crl9bp5:17 AM Apr 9th from web Of course Fidel Castro wants Obama to succeed. He wants Obama to destroy American capitalism and change it to another Cuba!2:13 PM Apr 8th from mobile web deleted deleted - Formula for world popularity: despise capitalism, embrace socialism, criticize US, edify dictators, hate Israel and blame Bush.11:07 AM Apr 8th from mobile web deleted Whose side is the Congressional Black Caucus on, anyway? Why were they in Cuba schmoozing with vicious dictators? Who's next? Hugo Chavez?4:14 AM Apr 8th from web deleted I wonder if GM CEO Obama is going cancel the color black from all models bec environmentalists says black cars contribute to global warming?9:13 PM Apr 7th from web deleted a world without the US could be analogous to when the Borg went back in time to take over the Earth in the Star Trek Next Generation movie.6:34 AM Apr 7th from web deleted deleted It seems Obama only apologizes for and criticizes his own subjects - I mean minions - I mean the US and her citizens (but only those who opp3:51 PM Apr 6th from mobile web New U S policy: the Obama Doctrine - A.A.C.C. (Apology, Appeasement, Capitulation & Contingency)12:40 PM Apr 6th from mobile web deleted I guess P.Obama's plan is to redistribute wealth by taking it from the military and giving it to ACORN!11:58 AM Apr 6th from mobile web Did you know that Billionaire Warren Buffet has received TARP funds? Is P.Obama going to now limit Buffet's income?11:54 AM Apr 6th from mobile web